Search
Fr. Mike's Message - 02/28/2021
-
Dear Parishioners,
I'm going to step aside this week and share a letter from Msgr. Jack Costello, former Pastor of SFB who is now Pastor of St. Peter Parish in Kirkwood. Fr. Jack was well loved when he was here and he loved serving here. Please pray for him. I would encourage you to send a note to him if you are able.
Here's his address:
Msgr. Jack Costello, St. Peter Parish, 243 W. Argonne Dr., St. Louis, MO 63122.
Thank you,
Fr. Mike Boehm
Letter from Fr. Jack
The Trappist Monk Thomas Merton offers this perspective on Ash Wednesday that particularly resonates with us as we begin this second Lent with the Covid-19 pandemic. Merton writes in Seasons of Celebration that Lent is a time for casting out fear from our lives. He says:
“Fear narrows the little entrance of our heart. It shrinks our capacity to love. It freezes up our power to give ourselves. If we were terrified of God as an inexorable judge, we would not confidently await his mercy, or approach Him trustfully in prayer. Our peace, our joy in Lent are a guarantee of grace.”
In the sign of ashes on the first day of Lent, Merton reflects, “the Church desires to take off our shoulders all other heavy burdens – the crushing load of worry and obsessive guilt, the dead weight of our own self-love. We should not take upon ourselves a ‘burden’ of penance and stagger into Lent as if we were Atlas, carrying the weight of the whole world on our shoulders…..penance is conceived by the Church less as a burden than as a liberation.”
So Lent is a time for casting out fear…..how appropriate for me to read that challenge from the monk, Thomas Merton. This year as Lent begins I am full of fear and anxiety. Let me explain…..perhaps with too much information. Bear with me.
Several years ago I began to experience “old man” problems with my prostate. These problems progressed so I consulted with my nephrologist (kidney doctor) since I have a kidney disease that needs to be monitored. He put me on medicines that could correct the problem with my prostate. He informed me that sometimes these medicines take a year to be effective. After a year of taking these medicines the quality of my life was becoming more compromised. I then consulted with a urologist.
After assessing my situation he concluded that I would be a perfect candidate for a non-invasive, non-surgical out-patient procedure to alleviate my prostate problems. On October 13th of 2020 I had that procedure and it went very well and I was extremely satisfied with the results. However, by the middle of December my old symptoms returned and I was bummed….back to square one.
In January I returned to my urologist who examined me and determined that one of the stints or clips inserted to separate my prostate moved out of place and was now bulging into my bladder. He decided then and there that I should have what is referred to as the “Gold standard surgery” to alleviate issues with an enlarged prostate. The surgery is called TURP surgery. Since it was a surgical procedure I would need to spend a day and a night in the hospital with a catheter and go home the next day. I, in fact, did have that surgery on Monday, February 8th, spent the night at St. Luke’s Hospital (a great hospital, I might add) and went home on Tuesday, February 9th. My urologist visited me that morning, removed my catheter and said when you can urinate on your own you can go home. I couldn’t. After about three hours of trying my urologist determined it was necessary to insert another catheter and sent me home. I was instructed to make an appointment with him the following Friday, February 12th, when he would remove the catheter and see if could be “on my own.”
I made the appointment for last Friday. It was a successful experience. My “plumbing” was working once again. I thought we were done. Instead he sat down with me and informed me that the tissue taken from me during the surgery came back from pathology was cancerous. I had prostate cancer.
That was the last thing I expected to hear that day was the “c” word. It had not been mentioned ever during any previous visits or procedures. Even my doctor was surprised. I now know when a doctor tells you that you have cancer everything he says afterward sounds like “blah, blah, blah.” He made appointments for me to have two CT scans last Tuesday to see if the cancer has spread to any other part of my body.
Mercifully, prostate cancer is slow moving and very treatable and I am banking on that. Thomas Merton was right “lent is a time for casting our fear from our lives. However, I would be lying to you if I told you that I am not afraid. I need Lent this year! There are some fears I need to cast out.
On Ash Wednesday I saw my urologist again to begin my treatment. Treatment consists of four injections with hormones with each injection spaced six months apart. When I fully recover from my surgery I will also have two weeks of radiation. Naturally, there are side effects with these treatments and I shall deal with them.
Having said all the above to you I am grateful for several things. First had I not had that first procedure with the stints and had not one of them slipped onto my bladder and thus necessitating the TURP surgery the cancer would not have been discovered. Since it was necessary to remove those clips before the TURP surgery the doctor would not have taken any tissue to be sent to pathology. TURP vaporizes the prostate with no tissue cutting. The cancer would not have been discovered. I see God’s hand in this!
Secondly, I am grateful that this health issue for me is taking place now while I am still your pastor and living among you. It would be more challenging if I was in my condo alone. I need to be surrounded by you, my St. Peter Parish family, during this time of “casting out fears” and facing some unknowns. I know how you pray. I know how important community is to you. I know how you rally around the one who is hurting, vulnerable, and afraid. I really know how much you care for me as I care so much for you. Over these past 16 1/2 years we have been through much together. I very much need to be near you and pray with you as you pray for me and I for you.
Thirdly, I am so grateful to Father Paul who has “stepped up to the plate” and presided over all the Masses since Father Greg also had some serious health issues and ended up in the hospital himself. I know in his homily to you last Sunday about the priesthood and celibacy Father Paul scored a “homerun.” In fact, as of this writing Father Greg is still at Mercy Hospital and recovering from an infection and mobility issues. Father Paul has so generously taken the baton and led you in the Eucharist without skipping a beat. He has play nurse-maid to Father Greg and me as the rectory has become a “nursing home” for the two old guys “down the hall.”
And I am grateful that it is Lent….an old English word meaning “lengthening” as the lengthening of days are now apparent….and soon the arrival of Spring. I need this time to “cast out my fears.
In the meantime, let us continue to pray for each other as we journey through this Lent together and look forward to April and the Resurrection of Jesus and Spring...and a time without fear.
Peace and all good,
Monsignor Jack, your Pastor
